This week while logging on to twitter(followe me @neelym) I noticed 2 different hash tags (#) that were among the top trending topics on twitter.

The first one:

And the second one:

Both made me feel so frustrated with the world. Frustrated that we have said it is okay to talk to each in such a hateful and mean spirited way…and that we’ve allowed it to be so accepted in our society that at the end of the day it can be a trending topic on a networking site.

I kept thinking is this really the best we can offer young women.

No, it’s not the best, right?

The church (youth ministries) can do better. And we must do better. We must encourage, empower and equip girls. They need positive relationships with their peers and with other women. They need biblical examples of women who have changed the world by discovering their purpose. They need to know they have purpose. They need to know that Jesus loves them in a radical way and that he offers them life…radical life.

let’s do better together!

nm

Today, I was creating a list in my head of movies that I would consider safe for a girl’s event or overnighter. I couldn’t come up with a very big list- so I thought I would recruit your help!

Here’s my safe list:

1. A Walk To Remember

2 Most Disney Flicks

3. Twilight

4. Goonies

5. Clueless

6. 13 Going on #0

7. Napolean Dymanite

8. 17 Again

9. Harry Potter

10. High School Musicals

My Maybe List (because they are a little sketchy):

1. Mean Girls

2. Juno

3. Stomp the Yard

4. Grease

5. Pretty in Pink

My definite NO list:

1.Nick and Norah’ Infinite Playlist

2. The House Bunny

How about you? What movies would you deem good enough for a girlie hang out? What movies would you NEVER show to teens?

I scare easily..real easily! But since I had heard so many comments about Black Swan and the messages that may be relevant to working with girls, I dared to enter the movie theater one Saturday night. (Shout out to my friends that dared to attend with me despite their own better judgement.)

First, let me start my saying that this is NOT a movie for the weak and definitely NOT for teenage girls! But, I would agree there was definitley things that got me thinking about working with teen girls.

Here’s just a few…

1. The importance of a healthy relationship between a girl and her mother.

The power of a good mom in the life of a girl is often times underestimated but nonetheless essential! How a girl sees herself, a lot of the times depends on how her mother sees her…as well as how the mother sees herself. Most of the time, a mom’s issues can be a daughter’s issues…not all the time but sometimes. And it’s helpful if the mom is working through the issues in a healthly way.

Random Idea: What would it look like if the youth ministry hosted a mom and daughter event? Provide them a safe place to grow and work on their relationship.

2. The drive for perfection is dangerous.

The pressure to perform, to excel and meet an unrealistic standard is real for girls…not just the boys anymore. There has been research that suggest girls are feeling lots of pressure in sports, school and relationships that has lead to more cases of depression, physical injuries, and more. Check out this interesting article here.

Random Thought: How do we provide a place for girls to be themselves and make sure we aren’t adding any extra pressure on them to perform?

3. Safe girl friendships make life great, unsafe girl friendships can make life suck.

It’s true…no matter your age. Girl on girl crime is rampant but their is safety in solid friendships. I know no better place for real, good and solid friendships than in small groups…small groups with good leaders who also understand healthly friendships.

Random Idea: Allow for girls to see and hear stories from older women about the value of good friendships in their life…seeing that it’s possible is sometimes just what a girl needs.

Not sure Black Swan was created to get me thinking but it did!

Ever have a movie inspire you and get you thinking about ministry? Share it here…because I am always looking for a good movie!

(Photo courtesty of PostSecret)

When I saw this disturbing PostSecret my mind began to think about the challenges that girls face when it comes to their body image. How do we help girls battle low body image issues especially when they escalate to eating disorders? I think as youth ministries we need a more wholistic approach.

Here’s 4 ways we can help:

1. Always keep the truth of Jesus’ love and acceptance at the forefront. For a girl to know that the Creator of the universe loves and accepts her unconditionally is a solid foundation for health. Faith does matter.

2. Provide resources for both your students, parents and your leaders. Here are some really good ones…

(for youth workers)

(for students)

(for parents)

All of these can be found at Simply Youth Ministry.

3. Know and refer to outside counsel. Find and create a list of christian therapist in your area that focus on teen girl issues. Make the list available to all the parents in your ministry. Don’t assume that they don’t want your help in this area…because they do.

4. Gather around the girls with other signficant people in their life. Once everyone is on the same page – communicate to the girl and her family that everyone is committed to her health. By doing this you create a circle of support for any girl that can help her overcome any of life issues. It does matter to girls that they are not alone in this journey.

Low body image is a real issue and we should always be prepared to help girls and their families. What do you do to help the girls in your ministry with their body issues?

*(This is one of my new ideas for the year- I am hoping each week to share with you some of my favorite blog reads from the current week.)

Week of January 1st-7th!!

1. Doug Fails. I love Doug Fields and I am super excited by his new blog. His very first one was a great one.

Diet/exercise: It never fails, I’ve always got some plan to drop 10-15lbs (“six-pack by summer”