I love Facebook. It makes staying connecting to your girls so easy. It also makes it so easy to have a Facebook Fail:

Have you ever had a “fail” on Facebook…or I am I alone on this one?

Another retail store attempted to sell a shirt to girls that made statements about being pretty…and smart.

Last year, Forever21 came out with a shirt that made the statement that said, “I am too pretty to do math.”

Now, JC-Penneys decided to come out with a similar shirt.

It didn’t take long for there to be a big outcry over the shirt. And JC-Penneys pulled it.

Unfortunately it just reminds us again about the messages that are being sent out to young girls.

1. To be pretty means you can’t be smart.

2. To be smart means you can’t be pretty.

3. Let the boys do the academic work.

I am glad that people didn’t let JC-Penneys get away with this message.

I hope that in our youth ministries we don’t let these ideas and messages be communicated. And when they do, I hope we tell the truth.

This past Sunday the youth took over the big house.

As our students helped lead the church in worship, I found myself overwhelmed with love, pride and sadness.

These students represent stories. Stories filled with pain, joy and Jesus. I couldn’t love them more…or be filled with more pride at their passion for our Savior.

And there was sadness. The natural of ministry is that you sometimes watch students walk away- decide not to follow Jesus. And usually those stories are so painful. Not only do you grieve their decision but you feel some pain of rejection…what should/could I have done differently?

The reality is that it happens…not because of you or your ministry.

So, I took a moment and prayed for a few students who came to mind that have recently left our ministry. Prayed for their hearts and for a God moment in their lives with or without me….

Ministry for the long run is filled with joy, pain and hopefully lots of Jesus. Youth sunday was a great moment to celebrate all of it!

How did you spend your holiday weekend?

This book may be a prime example of when helpful turns hurtful.

This book is about a 14 year old girl who goes on a diet and is transformed from being extremely overweight and insecure to a normal sized girl who becomes the school soccer star. Through time, exercise and hard work, Maggie becomes more and more confident and develops a positive self image. (Description straight from Amazon)

It could be a great book but at the same time it may be adding to the confusing messages that the world is sending about weight and image. Maybe it does speak to making healthy choices and to building your self-confidence in other ways than through your appearance BUT the cover does not convey that message.

Could there be ways in which we also are attempting to send “positive” messages about what it means to be a girl but at the same time are communicating it in a way that is confusing…and hurtful?

We say “God created you uniquely”…Girls may hear “The things I hate about myself are God’s fault.” It’s true God made you uniquely- even those parts of you that you don’t like or love. And the reasons you don’t like those parts of you is because someone else has told you a lie about what is beautiful…those are the lies that need to be corrected.

We say “Being modest is important for our brothers”…Girls may hear “Your body is a tool to be used for/against someone of the opposite sex.” It’s true we do have a responsibility to our brothers but we also have a responsibility to God and ourselves when it comes to our bodies. Our body is just a part of us…in the words of C.S. Lewis- You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.

Many of our statements are true but need to be spoken with words and compassion that allow the girl to hear the truth louder than she hears the lies.

What are other ways that we can turn potential hurtful statements into helpful words?

Women Forbes??? Imagine my surprise when I found an interesting article in it related to youth ministry.

This morning an article came across my news feed about how men could mentor women better. I began to think about the many mentors in ministry that I have had over the years, several of them have been men. And while they were never an official mentor relationships, they still deeply impacted me and how I do ministry now.

The truth is there are girls watching you and learning from you. Can you mentor them?

What does Women Forbes says:

Because women miss out on the bonding that takes place in the gray space where the professional and the private overlap and men work and play together, women get left out of the success loop.

I thought this was an interesting statement. One can see it in youth ministry. It makes sense for male youth pastors to spend their time with guys in the youth ministry but the mentorship and the guidance that happens in those times can be valuable…and we can find that girls miss those moments. So, how do we help the girls grow in leadership, especially leadership within the church.

1. Hire a female on your team- one who can care for the girls in your ministry. Even if the hire is an intern that doesn’t get paid but still plays a leadership role in your youth ministry. If women can be in these roles than young girls have someone to look up to and seek our for mentorship.

2. Provide a set Student Leadership program that is open to guys and girls. Make sure this program includes time for play and training…both are valuable to mentoring.

3. Train up your female volunteers to provide mentorship.

What do you think? Can men mentor girls?

Last night I got together with some girls to watch Soul Surfer. The girls LOVE(d) the movie. If you haven’t seen it with your girls- you really should! It was better the second time around- it seemed to me that they fixed some of the surfing shots and they look a lot better. Carrie Underwood was a little rough but it didn’t take away from the movie.

I let one of my small group girls dye my hair pink…just one stripe. The whole time she was putting the color in my hair I couldn’t help think of a joke by Doug Fields. He teases youth workers for trying too hard to be cool even after they are 30 and so clearly not cool. Yep, that was me…past 30 and trying to be cool.

Me with my hair stylist. “Staying hip to reach the young people!”