(Photo from Postsecret)

Fifteen years ago I was on a mission trip with a group of students- I noticed a group of both boys and girls huddled in the back of the van looking at something. I was slightly surprised to find them checking out a COSMO magazine and reading an article about how to really please your man. I realized in that moment that girls are talking and learning more about sex than I had realized. When I saw this postsecret – it only confirmed my thoughts.

So what do we do?

I think we need to AIM HIGHER.

I think we high five ourselves when we get students to make a pledge to purity. But do our students know really what we are asking of them? Because surely we want more for them than just maintaining their virginity. (Believe me – maintaining virginity is a good thing but is it the only goal?)

I want my girls to know that purity is about our heart, minds and bodies.

I want my girls to know that kind of purity needs to be maintained as a single person or a married person.

And as a leader I need to talk about purity in honest and blunt way.

And as a leader I need to know that each girl is created differently and each girl will feel the pressure of purity different. I must be willing to encouraged and exhort.

Purity matters and we must aim higher.

How do you talk about purity with the girls in your life?

This Sunday we launched our first You Own the Weekend. Redmond kicked it off. The students did a great job. Since this was the first time they were the first ones to set the bar…and they did a great job!

We had 2 students speak and ask the question- who is Jesus to you? Each student filled out a connection card and wrote the answer to that question on the back of it. Going through it this morning was overwhelming. So many great thoughts and a lot of pain. This card caught my attention:

First, I want to put my hand on the student’s shoulder and tell her that she is on the right track by asking the right question.

Second, it reminded me that our students need us to be clear…do our students know how to grow in their faith?

I can’t wait to email her today!

Also, this week one of my girls brought her dog. Seriously?

I kept telling her if her dog made a sound- I would kick it. It was funny. (For the record, I wouldn’t kick any living thing…)

Next week, another school takes over the service. This week their mascot was at the service promoting the service! Go Falcons!

Love seeing our students owning the ministry!

Got back on Saturday night from National Youth Workers Convention – and it was so much fun! I love being surrounded with people who love and believe in teenagers. So refreshing to be with my people.

Here’s a few snap shots from the weekend:

San Diego- Could not ask for a better place to have a convention- sunshine and good mexican food! #winning

I had to take a picture with Propaganda- I knew it would help my cool factor with some students in our ministry.

Working the Student Leadership Conference Photo Booth! Have you heard of SLC? You should check it out

Bob Goff!

The Student Leadership Team! We love working together- always a fun time!

Matt McGill is that you! Love that guy!

For those of you that attended my workshops- I promised a few articles- here are the links:

John Ortberg on Women

Trends in why people are leaving church.

I don’t want to wait! (Confusing messages about what it means to be a girl growing up the church!)

Women are disappearing from church.

Can’t wait for the next gathering of youth workers!

We had a big weekend.

Riley Mailman came up from California to speak with our students about evangelism and seeing their schools as a mission field. He did a great job. You should check out his website- www.theneedmovement.org. He spoke in both our 9:20 and 11am services and showed up a did a little q&a at our Student Leader Meeting. He was great!

Big weekend leads to a a big week.

On Wednesday, I leave for San Diego to be a part of National Youth Workers Conference (#nywc2012) – I get to teach two workshops.

What the Girls in Your Ministry Need the Men to Know

Girls Ministry- The Why’s and the How’s

Plus I get to share on the wonder stage….still a little unsure what that is but I am excited. I’ll be sharing on common things youth workers say that girls can misunderstand.

If you are going to be there- be sure to stop by and say hi!

I get home Saturday night and Sunday morning we do our first ever “You Own the Weekend.” So excited!

Big weekend…bigger week!

M.I.A. – have you heard of her? I vaguely knew of her until last week. I saw her on the Grammys a few years back…VERY pregnant and performing her music which feels to me like hip hop meets reggae…but I am not very musically inclined. I don’t listen to her. I couldn’t tell you one of her songs but I will tell you I recently discovered a story about her that inspired me and that I believe can inspire girls everywhere.

Here’s what I found:

M.I.A. is a philanthropist and humanitarian outside of her musical career. In 2009, People wanted to place her on their annual list of the world’s most beautiful people but she was the first person in the magazine’s history to decline, stating “Mother Teresa was never on the list.” 

Every year People Magazine does a a most beautiful people list. She DECLINED that list. She essentially said the most beautiful person I know is a woman who choose to give her life away for others. That’s REAL beauty. And that is the only beautiful list that she wanted to be on.

What can any and every girl learn from her?

To redefine beautiful. It’s not about making a list or about looking good on the outside. It’s about how we treat people and how we serve others. That’s real beauty!

What else can we learn from her?

The other day I was talking with a teenage girl in my life. I noticed a pattern in our conversation that was similar to conversations with other girls. These girls all felt guilty…and they shouldn’t.

They love Jesus and they are trying to follow him everyday but they just feel guilty that they are living up to the “standard.” When I began to ask the girl about where she was hearing the standard from…she slowly answered, “from church.”

We began to talk about her guilt and about the call to follow Jesus. How those who have accepted the gift of salvation are right before God and that truth usually leads to life change in our lives…not out of guilt but out of love.

It made me sad to think that we are making students feel guilty. There are so many pressures today as a teenager and following Jesus shouldn’t be another “pressure” that leads a student to feel like a failure who isn’t measuring up.

The Tension

I feel this tension as we teach about God’s radical grace for us and at the same time as we teach about God’s radical plans for us.

He loves us. We are right before him.

He loves you right where you are, he loves you enough to not leave you there.

Sometimes, when we teach about his radical plans that include specific behaviors we set students up for guilt if we haven’t spent enough time teaching on God’s radical grace.

It’s a tension.

And I don’t want to produce a generation of guilty girls but a generation of radical daughters of God. And because the tension exists, I pray for wisdom and for grace.

We’ll you join me in praying for the girls that we minister to that they might not be burdened with guilt but that they would experience a radical grace for their lives!

Check out  an amazing video at MSNBC!!

Bravery. Courage….just a few of the words that come to mind when I think about what girls can learn from this brave 13 year old. But it doesn’t stop there.

Life happens. And life isn’t always going to be easy. People can be mean. A girl can feel like she doesn’t measure up. Each girl has to decide….what will she do with what she has been dealt?

This young girl models that courage is possible and that good is possible. Within each girl is that possibility.

When we tell stories like this one- we remind girls that they are capable. We remind them that they are powerful despite their pain and their fears.

Show it to a few girls in your life. Ask them what they can learn from her! What did you learn?

The past 10 days have been insane! Our SM team has worked so hard to open our new student room and plan our one day training for the FALL. (Which would explain the absence on the blog…but no more! I love the routine of the Fall and I am excited about the time I have set aside to write!! Oh yeah!!!)

Here are a few pictures from the past 10 days!

Rory (my boss/co-worker) and I doing a little training with our amazing volunteer team!

A little stretch break led by our generational volunteers (teen, 20′s, 30′s, 40′s and 60′s – so fun!!!)

Our Grand Opening celebration!!!

The first name on our brand new (VIP/First Timer) Autograph wall!!!

Our process- why we do what we do! On the wall always reminding students, parents and volunteers what we are about in our SM!

Our celebration service was packed! It was amazing! We ended the service with 17 baptisms! So, thankful for these moments.

Now to start our small groups!!!

(I’ll post more pictures of our sweet new room soon!!!)

I’ve noticed something lately on my Pinterest account that has caught my attention. If your not familiar with Pinterest than all you need to know is that it’s a place where people can save links (pictures) of things they like to  “digital corkboards.” Here’s my profile:

A majority of the students I follow have created a board for their future wedding. We are talking 15, 16 and 17 year olds. Planning their wedding. I am pretty sure I was thinking about my wedding when I was that age…dreaming about it but I wasn’t saving actual pictures and files. I don’t think it’s bad…it’s just a reality about girls. We like wedding stuff and dreaming of our special day.

Girls start young dreaming about marriage and weddings. Even without encouragement it’s just happening. So, I think it’s important as significant voices in their life that we communicate to them that marriage is great but it’s not their salvation and it’s not their purpose.

I LOVE being married. I can’t imagine my life without my husband. But our marriage isn’t my salvation or my purpose. My salvation is found in Jesus alone and my purpose is following him and his teachings.

When we encourage young girls to follow after Jesus and when we speak of their future, let us encourage them on in that journey. That what matters above all else is following Jesus and his teaching. I think sometimes in the church we communicate that the best a girl can hold out for is a guy who is radical for Jesus. When in reality the best a girl can hold out for is being a radical follower of Jesus! Again, marriage is a great thing and who a girl marries is so important to their future. It’s just not their whole future.

I love talking with girls about marriage and about pretty wedding things. And I love talking to girls about how God might use them to change the world by following his radical teachings. Both.

What do you think about wedding dreams?